Trailer Probe tells you the good parts and the bad parts of the only thing that's important: movie trailers.
Dork disengagement level (the bad parts):
"That's gonna leave a mark." That's a pretty old, overused thing to say in a comedy movie when you get hurt. I feel like Tim the Tool Man said it often on Home Improvement. There are many funny things someone could say when someone gets hurt in a movie. This was one of them. Once.
I don't want to see all the ghost effects and creepazoid things in the first trailer. There will be 27 other trailers between now and the movie's release date for all that. But dang, they could've thrown in a couple more good ones. I hope there are more good ones.
Why is this movie being made? Why does it have girls in it? These are questions that commentators via the Internet have struggled with since we heard this was a thing. Now we have visual proof that it is happening. WHY. WHY CAN'T WE KEEP IMAGINING HOW MUCH WE MIGHT HATE IT.
Geek explosion content (the good parts):
People. It's a new Ghostbusters movie. We've only been waiting since the last Ghostbusters movie for this. If I could pay to see it right now, I would. The Ghostbusters have earned that from me.
Leslie Jones is funny playing herself on Saturday Night Live. She's funny playing herself here.
The Ghostbusters theme on piano makes me happy.
"30 years ago, four scientists saved the world."
Is that a real-life reference to the Ghostbusters movie? Or is it a comment setting up a return to that world where this thing with ghosts is happening again? A USA Today story says it's a whole new thing where the first two movies didn't happen. But we know that the living Ghostbuster actors are in the movie somewhere (Trust me, I read the Internet every day.)
I would rather they were front and center and doing Ghostbusters 3, but this is not nothing. It might be something.
The movie looks OK in the 30-second snippet. The new equipment looks neat. The actors in the movie are fun in lots of other things.
SLIMER! SLIMER IS IN IT. Now I'm excited.
And if I see it and I don't like it, then I can always not count it, like Highlander 2. What's Highlander 2? I don't know. I don't acknowledge that such a thing exists.
Geekout parts per billion: 800 million.