6.66. Zombie Strippers
A gal may lose her pulse, but she can still dance. That is the empowering message from the ladies of Zombie Strippers
(starring Robert Englund and specially skilled actress Jenna Jameson) and the slow-motion lady in Zombieland
. They appeal somewhere between sexy goth and unsettling wrongness. These shambling shimmy-shakers need love, too (and brains).
Deleted scene from Friends with Benefits.
Regular zombies are plenty bad, but the T-virus from the Resident Evil
games goes the extra mile after making people flesh-eating ghouls. It evolves the zombies into skinless wall-crawling, brain-exposed monsters with massive claws and their trademark impaling tongue.
In other words, the Lickers are fun to kill.
5. Philip from Shaun of the Dead
One of the best parts of Shaun of the Dead
is Shaun and Ed planning to rescue Shaun's mum
and dispatch his zombie-bitten stepfather Philip. When Philip turns, the scene shifts from funny to British pathos as he and Shaun finally connect. It shifts back to funny when Philip is satisfied not with tasty brains, but with shutting off Shaun's music and settling in the car for a bit of a sit down.
4. The Special Infected
The Left 4 Dead
game has a jumpy maniac in a hoodie, a huge guy who vomits zombie-attracting bile, and for extra Ewwww
factor, a hacking sneak with a 100 foot tongue, a rampaging muscle freak that tosses cars and a sad lady who rips your head off if you get too close.
No one is sure how these zombies hit the lottery.
3. The Unmentionables
I wonder what life would be like if Jane Austen did not invent the zombie genre with her groundbreaking classic Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
. The Unmentionables so perfectly represented the creeping decay that plagued 18th century England. They were constantly underfoot, threatening to derail fancy balls and ruin romantic encounters.
I shudder at the thought of how dry this literary classic would be without Austen's signature undead.
2. Karen, Night of the Living Dead
Little Karen (Kyra Schon) is the original living dead girl. She's the first person we ever see turn from a zombie bite. Watching the zombie child murder her mom with a trowel and munch on her dad's remains is the most gruesome family scene since Steel Magnolias
"What? We were all out of Pop-Tarts."
3. The Thriller Zombies
Not all zombies hunger for flesh and brains. Some have the soul for getting down
. These zombies have better moves than bands spawned by the music industry. If we luck out, these dancing dead guys will devour the pop stars first.
They may reek with the funk of 40,000 years, but that does not stop these ghouls from popping, locking and / or body rocking.
"You're next, Lionel Richie."