We got your winners right here for RevolutionSF's Best of Joe R. Lansdale contest. Your challenge: Write a weird horror story in 67 words.

So many of you whomped up good ones that we're spreading the love for five days. One winner per day, with a few excellently weird runners-up.

Today's winner

Terror screamed through her brain as demand for performance meant everything. All she could see was the large expanse of black: board, boots, uniform. The crop snapped across her back.

“Wrong! That is not a sentence. It’s a FRAGMENT. Take her to the shower chamber."

As she was marched away, she nearly wept. No one told her grammar would mean life, and now, death. -- Rhonda Eudaly

Excellently weird runners-up

Pagano studied the cavatelli bathed in oil and garlic sitting before him. When the first piece quivered and blew an acrid orange gas from one of its ends, Pagano became wary. When another bounced off its side into an upright position, Pagano became concerned. When the balance of the plate formed itself into a claw, took up Pagano's fork and stabbed his heart, Pagano became dead. -- James Gulisano

* * * * *

Something was in the air that day causing a horrible change. But Terry didn’t care. With everyone panicking, nobody seemed to notice as he went about his spree. All he cared about was that they had to die. But when he realized they had all come back as zombies, and they were looking for him, silently -- all the mimes he’d killed that day -- then, he cared. -- Craig Clarke