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Joe R. Lansdale 67-Word Weird Horror Contest Winners : Day 3
© RevolutionSF contest survivors
April 06, 2010

We got your winners right here for RevolutionSF's Best of Joe R. Lansdale contest. Your challenge: Write a weird horror story in 67 words.

So many of you whomped up good ones that we're spreading the love for five days. One winner per day, with a few excellently weird runners-up.

Today's winner:


Marko’s front door tore away in a flurry of wood splinters. Beyond hovered a massive, phantasmagorical whale-like being, translucent and pale. Tentacles writhed around its mouth.

As one grabbed Marko about the middle and hauled him toward the cavernous mouth, Marko screamed, "Why?"

The whale boomed: "Your father only APPEARED human. He was really a ninth-dimensional plankton, and so are you."

Then it ate him. -- Allen Wise

Excellently weird runners-up:

One afternoon at a birthday party

When the animal finally made it to the stage, after Delores had to zap it with the Taser, I knew I'd made a mistake. Two hundred bucks and six tins of creamed corn seemed a steal when I booked her but, no matter how much you laugh at the streaming videos, a donkey show is not a proper present for a thirteen year old boy. -- James Cochrane

* * * * *

The Robot was sent to greet the Aliens after 10 days of world wide bombing.

"Why are you here?" it asked.

"To sate our hunger on the scourge of Human flesh."

Robot calculated it was over for the humans and it would no longer be useful. It asked if it could be of assistance.

The aliens ticked, "What can you do?"

Robot thought, and answered, ""I can cook." -- John Purvis

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