"Unlike me, many of you have accepted the situation of your imprisonment, and will die here like rotten cabbages."

The Prisoner is a mind-tripping spy TV classic with sci-fi stuff in there somewhere. There's a spy trapped in a town, and hijinks ensue. A delightfully twisted RevSF fan has won a brand-new collection of the show on DVD.

First check out the sweet theme music.

The Winner

The Prisoner would be fused with Sailor Moon series to form an unholy mashup of cute and insane. Format is still the same, weekly monsters to kill and such. But the monsters are intangible ideas, like Fear or Anarchy. The Prisoner morphs into Number 6 to defeat them, complete with frilly skirt and wand. No tiara though, as that would mess up the scowl he always has going. First season would end with him realizing Number 2 is really totally like his boyfriend from like a former life. End on grizzled man kiss. Cue rose petals and bad Spanish guitar riff. -- modoru

The Almost Winners

6 and his pet rover, Rover, wander the allowable countryside and have adventures. There are constant yuks on the laugh track, especially when someone fleeing topples over. At the end of every cartoon, #6 hugs Rover, which promptly engulfs him. Scattered through every show are fellow adventurers and villains, all of whom appear on a dusty shelf at Toys-R-Us. Don't forget the Rover beach ball! -- n9oca

Every episode, 6 runs around concocting ever more elaborate escape plans. The more Rube-Goldbergian the better. Sometimes they backfire horrendously, and Number 2 comes around, shakes his head and drugs Number 6, resetting everything. Sometimes they succeed, and Number 2 comes around, shakes his head and drugs Number 6, resetting everything. -- herewiss)

The Rover, instead of being a giant white ball, is instead an anvil from the Acme Company. -- naguscook

They Won This

The brand-new DVD set of The Prisoner.

The set includes all 17 hour-long episodes, and a metric ton of bonus features. Those include a feature about the show, original scripts, and rare production stuff. Go here for the whole list.

How They Won

Number 2. They sent it to us.

Send your entry using the Convenient RevolutionSF Automated Message Information Transmitter, or, for short, CRAMIT.

Number 3. Maybe you don't want to follow these rules. Maybe you say, "I won't be a goldfish in a bowl!"

Apparently your life is your own. You do not want to win the contest.

But really, you do. We know it.

Be seeing you.

"Seriously, robe guys. Quit staring at my caboose."