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Top 6.66 Zombies : Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Left 4 Dead
© Gary Mitchel
October 27, 2009

6.66. Zombie Strippers

Just because a gal's lost her pulse doesn't mean she can't dance for tips. The ladies of Zombie Strippers (starring Robert Englund and specially skilled actress Jenna Jameson) and the slow-motion lady in the opening of Zombieland appeal somewhere between sexy goth and unsettling wrongness."  In both cases, these shambling shimmy-shakers need love, too. And brains.

Deleted scene from Terms of Endearment.

6. Lickers

Regular zombies are plenty bad, but the T-virus from the Resident Evil games doesn't stop with making people flesh eating ghouls. It evolves the zombies into skinless wall-crawling, brain-exposed monsters with massive claws and their trademark impaling tongue.

In other words, the Lickers are fun to kill.

5. Philip from Shaun of the Dead

One of the best parts of Shaun of the Dead is Shaun and Ed planning to rescue Shaun's mum and dispatch his zombie-bitten stepfather Philip, who always disapproved of Shaun.

When Philip turns, the scene shifts from funny to British pathos as he and Shaun finally connect. It shifts back to funny when Philip is satisfied not with tasty brains, but with shutting off Shaun's music and settling in the car for a bit of a sit down.

4. The Special Infected

The Left 4 Dead game has a jumpy maniac in a hoodie, a huge guy who vomits zombie-attracting bile, and for extra Ewwww factor, a hacking sneak with a 100 foot tongue, a rampaging muscle freak that tosses cars and a sad lady who rips your head off if you get too close.

No one is sure how these zombies got powers. Did they hit the zombie lottery?

3. The Thriller Zombies

Not all zombies hunger for flesh and brains. Some have the soul for getting down. These zombies have better moves than every manufactured band spawned by the music industry. If we're lucky, these dancing dead guys will devour the pop stars first.

They may reek with the funk of 40,000 years, but that doesn't stop these ghouls from popping and locking and / or body rocking.

"Look, I told you a hundred times she's just a girl who said I was the one."

2. The Unmentionables

I wonder what life would be like if Jane Austen did not invent the zombie genre with her groundbreaking classic Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. The Unmentionables so perfectly represented the creeping decay that plagued 18th century England."  They were constantly underfoot, threatening to derail fancy balls and ruin romantic encounters. They forced the Bennet sisters to take up ninja training.

Can you imagine how dry this book would be without Austen's signature undead? It would only be about upper class, marriage-obsessed women. I shudder at the thought.

1. Karen, Night of the Living Dead

Little Karen (Kyra Schon) is the original living dead girl. She's the first person we ever see turn from a zombie bite. Watching the zombie child murder her mom with a trowel and munch on her dad's remains is the most gruesome family scene since Steel Magnolias.

"What? We were all out of Pop-Tarts."

Here is our big pile of Halloween Top 6.66. And you will like RevSF writers' personal Halloween stories.

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