My weekend at DragonCon 2009 started with an exploding Winnebago.

On the drive from Birmingham to Atlanta, I was on track to get there about one minute early for my first panel. Then there was a traffic jam, total lockdown on the lovely Georgia interstate. When I arrived at the jamming incident, a Winnebago had disintegrated. I saw, in a smoking pile on the side of the road, a green stripe and a chunk of wood panel fender.

RevSF's Rachel Ivey took this photo amid the cloud of Winnebago disintegration.

Avengers Symposium

This year I was assistant editor on another volume of the superhero retrospective book, Assembled. Van Plexico and the other writers donate proceeds to the Hero Initiative. We were invited to do a panel for a pop culture conference at the con. George Perez, the legendary comic book artist, appeared on the panel with us. We sold lots of books. Having the hilarious Mr. Perez there was really cool. I'm sure he wondered why some idiot two seats down from him smelled like burning metal.

In Which RevSF's Gary Is Frightened

My con roommate was RevSF writer Gary Mitchel. It's hot and sweaty at a geek-a-thon. I took about 47 showers in three days. I left the words "REDRUM" in the steam on the bathroom mirror. Gary's screams when he saw the words encouraged me. So I wrote "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID" on the mirror, right before I checked out. That's called paying it forward.

Stump The Geeks

I host a game show at DragonCon every year. It is the best hour you will ever spend at any convention. It was extra fun this year. The reason: Hulk cologne.

It's real. You can buy it..

When someone got a question wrong, my monkey boys James Palmer and Gary Mitchel sprayed them. A flash mob of zombies arrived at the door, seeking brains. You know how they do. Upon finding none, they exited. Gary pursued them, and hosed them down with Hulk cologne.

A guy called one of my prizes the "best t-shirt ever." He is correct. You should buy one.

"I always wondered what the Hulk smelled like." -- Monkey Boy James

The Streak Continues

I love being on panels on DragonCon's sci-fi TV track, because I have watched enough sci-fi TV to choke a donkey.

The whole panel was asked, "Which canceled sci-fi show do you miss the most?" Some said Farscape, there was a Firefly, and a Middleman. I of course said Manimal, the greatest TV show. This keeps alive my Manimal streak: I talk about Manimal at every convention, but not just at random. I work it in naturally. Pick an old show for yourself and try it when you have nerd conversations. You'll like it.

Usually we predict which new sci-fi show will be canceled. If I lose, I have to dance. Sci-fi TV track ringmaster Kelley Harkins insists. This year I escaped without dancing or predicting. Next year I'll be ready, because I watch Glee.

A young woman asked if I was Joe Crowe. And she wasn't there to arrest me!

She thanked me for talking about her Baroness costume years ago in a DragonCon review. That absolutely made my weekend.

My friend's party

One of the convention halls hosted a Battlestar Galactica party. I saw Richard Hatch wearing sunglasses at night. In honor of Galactica, they made the party just like new episodes of BSG: You had to wait eight months.

My friend Mark invited me to his room party. I almost skipped it, because I am totally lame. But the party was right next to my room. That increased the degree of difficulty of me punking out. I drank something they would only identify as "blue stuff." Then I talked about Buffy the Vampire Slayer for like 45 minutes with a friend of Mark's.

At every party, something happens that those who leave hear about later. No matter what time you leave, it always happens afterward. "Dude! You should have hung out."

In this case, Mark claims the Buffy fan was a dancer at a Star Wars party. The DJ filmed some video. I don't know which dancer is my friend the Buffy fan, but oh my goodness.

My Afternoon With Marion Ravenwood

Here's a clip of a fun panel with Karen Allen. Sci Fi Classics track director Ron Nastrom is not the one on the right.

My favorite thing she said: "I told them to get that freaking cobra away from me."

Not My Afternoon With Lou Ferrigno

Lou Ferrigno was supposed to be on a panel, but in some arcane malfunction, he was not contracted to do panels. So Ron introduced me as Ferrigno. "He hasn't worked out in a while," Ron said. Then someone in the audience yelled "Take it off." So I took it off. Then I sprayed them with Hulk cologne.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

Sci-Fi Classics guy Ron is a funny dude. He put me on this panel, assuming I saw both movies. But I showed him. I have not seen the original. When I admitted this, stunned gasps swept the room.

Gil Gerard, known to you and I as Buck Rogers, loves Day the Earth Stood Still. So Ron put him on the panel, so he could nerd it up with the rest of us. But Mr. Gerard said he would rather stay at his autograph table and sell pictures.

Anyway, he would not have appreciated sitting next to me for an hour while I squealed "I'm sitting next to Buck Rogers. I'm sitting next to Buck Rogers!"

Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea

I never saw this 1960s sci-fi show. But now I want to. I played host while the other guys bantered in 1960s sci-fi triviatic gamesmanship that would boggle even the most obsessed. In the audience was guys dressed like Belzer from Hill Street Blues and Jethro from Beverly Hillbillies. That is hardcore.

The Quest for Tea

I went on a vain search for sweet tea, which does not exist in the churning humanity-choked vortex of Atlanta hotels. As I waited in line to buy a somewhat fruit-flavored beverage, three really nice folks said they saw me at the panel, and asked about the Hulk cologne. So I also sprayed them with it.

My Afternoon With Richard Herd From V, Seinfeld, and TJ Hooker

I hosted a panel for Richard Herd. He was in everything on TV in the 1970s and 1980s. I told the Hulk cologne story and one of the tech people was not amused: "Is that why you smell like that?" Oh no you didn't, I thought. But I said nothing out loud that would inspire her to strike me.

Herd was excellent. He talked about TJ Hooker and playing William Shatner's boss. He said he wanted the part of Hooker, but they gave it to Shatner instead. So when he barked orders at TJ Hooker, he really got into it. The director told him they couldn't use the scene because he was "so brutal."

Someone asked him how he prepared for the scene, and he said. By thinking, "Shatner, you filking prick."

(Herd didn't say "filking.")

This year I met an exceptional number of cool people, and I made most of them reek. That's a good year.