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Christmas Countdown : Funnest Christmas List Ever, #20-12
© Joe Crowe
December 24, 2008

The same sappy, unstoppable standards of holiday music are everywhere, every year. Up yours, standards!

Like a wide-open parking spot or standing less than three hours in line, these funny songs and videos will brighten your holiday attitude. Or else. Straighten up.

20. "The Night Santa Went Crazy," by Weird Al Yankovic. No collection of funny music would be complete without Yankovic. Things go awry thanks to a disgruntled "yuletide Rambo." The ensuing chaos rhymes hostage" with "reindeer sausage."

19. "Mrs. Claus" by Throwing Toasters. Santa's job comes first, someone has romance in mind for the lady he leaves behind. Sorry for the mental image (again).

18. Elf Metal Jacket. R. Lee Ermey as the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket brings us comfort and joy. But he's even better with his dialogue dubbed over the elf workshop boss from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, hollering at Hermie, the elf who wants to be a dentist. Warning: Includes lots of words that will get you on the naughty list.

17. "Podsafe Christmas Song" by Jonathan Coulton. Alvin and the Chipmunks' "Chipmunk Song" really starts to grate after the 350th time. This parody helps. A Dave Seville-esque singer corrals his Chipmunk-like bandmates into recording a song that's legal to use on a podcast. Everything is funny when said in a chipmunk voice.

16. "I Found The Brains of Santa Claus" by Jason & The Strap-Tones. This one's nothing short of disturbing, but it's such a cheerful little ditty that you'll find yourself singing along. The guy who finds them says, "I wonder if he's dead."

15. "Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass" by Arrogant Worms. St. Nick is on his way, and he's not happy. Neither are the elves, who plan to "steal your turkey," or the reindeer, who will "swallow your kitty cat." It's been a rough year at the North Pole.

The Arrogant Worms are hilarious. Their CD Christmas Turkey is worth buying for a dozen songs, including "Christmas Is Almost Here," and "Oh God! I'm Santa Claus."

14. "I Am Santa Claus" by Twisted Radio. A note-perfect parody of Black Sabbath's heavy-metal epic "Iron Man." Sample lyric: "Leave him cookies and beer. He'll come to your house first next year."

13. "Christmas Is A Pain In the Arse" by The Accelerators. "I hoped last year that it just wouldn't last." We can all relate.

12. "At X-Mas Time" by Throwing Toasters.

This one is up-tempo and cute, until you pay attention to the lyrics. Note the singer's plan to decorate his tree with headless Barbies. Festive!


Now enjoy #30-21 and #11-1 or it's socks and underwear for life.


 
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