RevolutionSF Newsblast is sci-fi news with value-added smartassery, unavailable anywhere else on any of the Internets, sponsored today by a pirate skull toilet brush. Arrrrr.

Johnny Depp Makes Every Movie Better, Literally

Johnny Depp will be in a new Pirates of the Caribbean, and Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland and Tonto in Lone Ranger. This was announced when he danced like a monkey for his overlords at Disney, when they threw an all-day bacchanalia where the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse juice boxes flowed like wine.

Fresh Prince To Replay First Few Minutes of Movie

I Am Legend prequel.

The movie will be more about the disaster from the first movie, then Fresh Prince and Martin Lawrence go and kick the ass of some drug dealers.

Tolkien Lawsuit Goes Into the West

No money for the Tolkien estate, a court ruled. The estate sued New Line Cinema for some of that sweet movie money, but they can claim fraud in another trial. They want to stop The Hobbit movie from happening, and they better step off, because I gots to have that.