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RevolutionSF Newsblast : Red Sonja, John Carter of Mars, GI Joe, Star Trek
Revolution News
© Joe Crowe
June 27, 2008

RevolutionSF Newsblast is sponsored by John Carter, Warlord of Mars. And this animated Bob Clampett test footage. Also John Carter.

John Carter of Mars Movie? Pretty Please?

The director of Wall*E, Andrew Stanton, is set to direct a John Carter of Mars movie. He said, "I loved those books. I read them all from front to back all through my high school and junior high years, and just always wanted to see them realized on the screen." He will deliver our beloved red-skinned Martian lady Dejah Thoris. Or we will drive to where he lives and commence with the skobbing of his nob.

Red Sonja Movie Without Brigitte Nielsen = Blasphemy

Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez are whomping up a Red Sonja movie for 2010. They're a couple in real life, which is always sweet. Rodriguez and Red Sonja inventor Robert E. Howard are Texas folk, so it's likely that Rodriguez has heard of Robert E. Howard, at least. He already tried to remake Barbarella with McGowan. Dude, we get it. Your girlfriend is good-lookin'. If you don't make a movie with her soon, it'll have to be remake of Golden Girls.

Knight Rider GPS Makes Me Want To Get Lost Somewhere Where A GPS Will Work

This GPS sounds like KITT from Knight Rider.. Or the mean doctor from St. Elsewhere for all the Ed Begley fans in the house tonight. And all for only $299, the price of one tank of gas.

GI Joe Director Is Idiot

I'm going to go to GI Joe director Stephen Sommers's mama's house and kick her in the butt, because he believes Sienna Miller's breasts aren't big enough (thanks to RevSF's Geek Curmudgeon)She's the Baroness in his GI Joe movie. He added chicken filets to her costume to make her cleavage more cleavagious. Chickens reached for comment at coops around the United States said, "Hell yeah. Wait. I'd be dead. Still, hell yeah."

Voyager Stars Invade Live Theater

It's a new golden age for the theater, as the dazzling stars of Star Trek lend their prodigious talents. Odo, also known as Rene Auberjonois, on the lovely Deep Space Nine will appear in a Moliere play, The Imaginary Invalid. And Janeway, previously known as Kate Mulgrew on the delightful Voyager, will co-star in Equus with Harry Potter's goob.

RevolutionSF Newsblast editor Joe Crowe meets world.

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