Movies of geekity interest should be only two minutes long. This is because trailers are so good. They make us laugh. They make us cry. They work so hard to make us happy.
Trailer Probe rates the geek explosion content, a measure of how much it combusts our cortex with a volley of geekitude. In every case, we do not know how good the movie is. Trailer Probe measures the quality of the trailer at doing at promoting the movie and being entertaining in itself.
Also measured: Dork disengagement level, the reason you won't like it, for those who don't have a moment to waste on a trailer they may not freak out about.
Reason to watch: MC Frontalot
goes on tour in this rock-documentary. This documentary follows him and talks to other nerdcore performers, other music business people, and fans about rapping about nerdly things.
There are funny clips from "Weird" Al Yankovic, a member of Dead Kennedys, and other nerdcore folks such as MC Chris and MC Lars.
Frontalot describes nerdcore hip-hop as "regular hip-hop, with the word nerdcore in front of it."
This looks really funny. There's always unscripted good comedy when funny performers hang out together, and here, it's funny nerd performers.
Dork disengagement level: Like in Trekkies, the fans may not be the funnest part. We know them, we are them, or both.
But that's part of the fun. They say funny things in the trailer, too. There isn't much of a dork disengagement level here.
Geek explosion level: 900,000 geek parts per million.
Reason to watch: It's the Avengers!
Oh, wait. It's their pre-teen children
A narrator tells the story of the Avengers, with most of the big guns from the Marvel comic: Iron Man, Captain America, Giant-Man, Wasp, Thor, Hawkeye, and Vision.
They're all introduced in stirring, dramatic fashion over still frames of them in action against comic-book foes Kang and Baron Zemo.
The narration includes the very same intro that has appeared in the title banner on the first page of the Avengers comic for decades: "And there came a day, a day unlike any other, when Earth's mightiest heroes found themselves united against a common threat." It's excellent.
Dork disengagement level: Then they are all killed.
This animated movie is set in the future, after all the Avengers have kids and retire, but then their old enemy Ultron finds them and kills them all. So the kids take on the Avengers legacy.
I'm in favor of introducing a new generation of fans to the classic Avengers. But then they all die.
It's a movie aimed at kids. I have no beef with that. Probably the intro with the killing only lasts a couple of minutes before we get to all the little kids and such.
I'm sure the movie features a heroic journey for the kids, and some kicking of villainous bottoms. But if I were introduced to a neat bunch of heroes, I would rather see them.
Not, you know, their dead bodies.
I'm sure there will be no head-chopping or blood-spurting onscreen, but a black silhouette of Ultron with his hand around Captain America's throat is not very pleasant.
Geek explosion level: 900,000 geek parts per million, until the implied gore and slaughter of superheroes I've read since I was the age of the viewers this DVD targets. Then, I dunno.
Then again, the daddy drops dead in the first two minutes of Cinderella and my daughter loves it.