The day we have long feared is come! The actors who will play the Watchmen have been named! Run for the hills!
Since the very day the first issue of Watchmen came out in 1986, the Geek Nation has talked about who'd play them in a live-action movie. The list of potential actors named over the past two decades includes every single actor in history, living, dead, and pornographic.
(If you have not read Watchmen, do so now, or expect a subpoena from the Geek Board.)
Now it appears that this movie may actually happen. The Hollywood Reporter has posted director Zach Snyder's cast:
I'm getting all verklempt! Twenty years in the making! Before there was an Internet that we could write this crap on!
Dr. Manhattan is Billy Crudup. The guy who hollered "I am a golden god!" in Almost Famous will now be a blue god. Put them together and he could be the Hulk (because yellow and blue make . . . ahem. Sorry about that.)
They announced at San Diego that Crudup will be the guy until Doc turns blue, then he's CGI. Which means we won't see Billy Crudup's blue ass. Damn it!
Rorschach is Jackie Earle Haley. Oscar-nominated Maniac Cop 3 star who said "There's nice ass at the field, that's why I hang around it," in Bad News Bears.
Nite-Owl is Patrick Wilson. Comics' other top superhero group The X-Men had one in Wolverine. Now musical theater places another one: Wilson is nominated for a Tony. He can sing! He can dance! He can play a schlub who flies around in an Owl-ship. There better be an Owl-ship.
Old Original Nite-Owl is Stephen McHattie Dude was on MANTIS and Walker Texas Ranger.
Silk Spectre is Malin Akerman. She was on Witchblade, Relic Hunter and is lucky to have survived filming Earth Final Conflict. She'll be in the Nicole Kidman invasion movie Invasion, which has nothing at all to do with the TV show where the lady could breathe underwater, Invasion.
The Comedian is Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He's the stubbly dad on Supernatural. At least he was (spoiler!) He was the Xindi Reptilian on Enterprise, and he was on Angel and Sliders. He was on a show called The Burning Zone, which was not an infomercial for Icy Hot.
Ozymandias is Matthew Goode. He's from England! He was in the Woody Allen tennis movie Match Point., so he's got headband experience. Unless he just wanted to let the tennis sweat drip into his eyes.