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Gravedancers
Reviewed by Sackett, © 2007

Format: Movie
By:   Mike Mendez
Genre:   Horror
Review Date:   April 03, 2007
Audience Rating:   R
RevSF Rating:   4/10 (What Is This?)

I've been looking forward to the movies in the 8 Films to Die For series. The commercials make them sound very cool, and very scary. "Too Graphic for Theaters," eh? Right up my alley.

Welllll . . . not so much. I chose Gravedancers for my first viewing (Ain't Netflix great?) because it sounded like a heck of a ghost story. A dead man's three college buds, including Dominic Purcell from Prison Break, show up in the cemetery after closing to say a final farewell. They find a poem in a black envelope on the headstone which urges people to dance on graves to celebrate life. Being drunk, these two men and a woman do so. The "fun" ensues from there.

The first half of the movie is really quite atmospheric, and shows great potential. The tension is building nicely, people are getting jumpy, violence is begining to happen. And then the paranormal investigators are called in. Along with a giant sucking sound.

A professor with a phoney English accent and a pretty graduate student with lots and lots of computers. They make the three buddies take them back to the cemetary, and point out where they were dancing. Like they would remember. But they do, right down to the individual graves. Somehow these drunk(and horny) moshpit bangers managed to stay on particular graves.

AND they just happened to be in the part of the cemetery where all the weirdos and undesireables were buried.

Yes. This town had a section just for madmen. Nice place, this town, because every one of these graves had a fancy seven foot headstone on it.

Surprisingly enough, each of the madmen matched up perfectly the foibles of the person who danced on that grave. Seredipity is so cool! The movie degenerates to a bunch of people running around waving their hands in the air, while airing the dirty laundry from their college days.

The really sad thing is, this movie must have had a pretty good budget, judging by the special effects. It's just that there was little rhyme or reason to the logic of said special effects. Once the ghosts started showing up, the writers' brains turned off. All the characterization that happened in the beginning of the movie was discarded.

The ghostbusters spouted a lot of technobabble, were followed relatively blindly, and none of their solutions worked. And the "too graphic for theaters" violence was nonexistent.

That's not to say I didn't enjoy this movie. I actually did. In an MST3K way. Wifey and I did a lot of hootin' and hollerin' that second half of the movie. It was fun! There was plenty of action, not much blood.

I am going to watch a couple more of the "8 Films To Die For." The trailers still sound good. But I can't in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone, unless you're in the mood to play Tom Servo and Crow.


Sackett actually worked as a gravedigger for the last four summers. True story.

 
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