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Star Wars : A Presence We Have Not Felt Since 1977
Revolution News
© Joe Crowe
May 04, 2006

We're doomed! Something has to be wrong here. But for a moment, let's pretend everything is fine.

Pardon my C-3P0 impression.

StarWars.com announced that the original theatrical editions of Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi are set for DVD.

That's "original," as in unaltered, unspruced, unviewed by fans except on crinkly old videotape copies for years. All along, Lucasfilm has said these versions are flawed and incomplete, much like R5-D4 the malfunctioning droid at the Jawa station, and thus shall never be seen again. Instead, we got the crispy new versions with CGI additions and slap-assy story changes.

Now, however, apparently the DVDs will contain the movies as we originally saw them in theaters in 1977, 1981, and 1983. In other words:

1. Six Stormtroopers instead of 60.

2. No Jabba until Empire.

3. Jolly old Anakin's ghost instead of Hayden Christensen.

Lastly, and most importantly:

Han Shot First.

Now Mr. Lucas, come on. How hard was that?

The StarWars.com article says that "a truly countless number of fans" had been asking for this.

The DVDs will be on sale for a "limited time," September 12 to December 31 2006. Plenty of time for all of us to tenderly snatch them from the shelf and cradle them against our delicate bosom on the way to checkout.

What happened? Lucasfilm is listening to us now?

Great, kid. But we shouldn't get cocky.

Did I wake up this morning on Bizarro Earth? Am it my unhappy birthday?

Each set will contain the 2004 special editions, which has already been on DVD, so we need them not. and a new Star Wars Lego video game is coming September 12, too. But stay on target!

Even Joe Crowe gets boarded sometimes.

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