William Shatner – or, as he's known to his friends, Mr. William Shatner – wants to sell his kidney stone on eBay, according to the World Entertainment News Network.

Recently he was taken to emergency surgery from the set of Boston Legal, in which he plays himself playing a lawyer, with the terrible, awful pain that humans know as kidney stones. After it winded its way through the infernal miasma that must be Shatner's system, it was released into the world, nevermore to trouble Shatner again.

The "KHAAAAAAN!" scene in Wrath of Khan was just Shatner practicing.

So now he wants to profit from his pain. He says the kidney stone will be the "ultimate piece of Star Trek memorabilia."

Please. Every sci-fi fan knows at least one guy who collects body parts of Trek stars.

Shatner says he wants to give the proceeds to charity. Unfortunately for Mr. Shatner, eBay has a policy about selling body parts. That policy being, they frown on it. You can sell Marvel Team-Up no. 38, which cost me 35 cents when I was 7, to me 28 years later for 11 dad-gum dollars – but not body parts.

The story also says he's trying to talk the doctors into giving it to him. Do they have it in a curio cabinet?

Meanwhile, George Takei reportedly said, "This is just fantastic for Mr. Publicity. I can only announce that I'm gay once."