In Ghost Whisperer, Jennifer Love Hewitt can talk
to the spirits of people who are dead but haven’t left the earthly
plane yet. This is because they have to talk to people whom
they left behind, and Jennifer is the only one who can relay
the messages. It's The Sixth Sense, in other words,
but instead of vulnerable little Haley Joel Osment you get hot
Jennifer Love Hewitt, and instead of depressed Bruce Willis
you get more hot Jennifer Love Hewitt.
The show begins when she’s a little girl and she has to pass
a message at a funeral. She says later that her power has continued
since then. Did she get messages during school? “Tell Bobby
that even though I’m dead, I still don’t like him like that.”
The show starts in the middle of everything — she’s
had her power since childhood. Here’s a nice twist. On most
shows where someone has powers, family or loved ones always
think they need to be strapped down. Here, she freely discusses
it with her best pal. Even her husband doesn’t seem to mind.
Of course, that’s because his wife is JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT.
Let’s talk about that. Jennifer Love Hewitt is easy to look
at, if you like the women. There, I said it. Likers of women
have to admit — yep, she’s female. This show isn’t all
about that, though. She doesn’t run in slow motion.
She does wear a fetching assortment of night shirts and gowns.
She answers the door wearing them when normal humans come to
her house looking to talk to spirits. The ghosts often come
to chat when she’s walking around the house late at night in
pajama tops and white underthingies.
“I’m a lost spirit . . . I need to reach my mother,
who . . . damn, woman! You FINE!”
This beats the alternative. The show is based on the work of
James Von Praagh, a real-life psychic who is shaped like an
ex-football player, complete with thick moustache. If I need
to contact the ghostly realm late at night, I don’t want to
see Von Praagh in his Fruit of the Looms, scratching his belly.
By the way, I believe that James Von Praagh’s last name is
a Klingon greeting. If you can verify this, let us know.
The show is directed and written by John Gray. To my relief,
it’s not the same John Gray who wrote Men Are From Mars,
Women Are From Venus, that silly-ass screed that hypnotized
everyone on the globe few years ago. I was given that book during
a very irritating time during my dating career (or lack thereof.)
I learned — get this — men and women are very different!
It shook me to the core. I didn't have to read past page 3.
It's just that good.
But back to the show with the girl in the underpants.
She’s fully clothed most of the time.
She reveals the ghost whispering rules, which are not unlike
the Sixth Sense rules, except that the ghosts only
try to scare the bejeezus out of her if they just got dead.
After they’ve been dead awhile they settle down, and their spirits
look like normal non-zombies. In an excellent turn of events,
finally, we get ghosts who very plainly tell what their deal
is. Writing your message in blood on a wall is so five minutes
Her very thankful husband is a paramedic, who gets all weepy
when he says that the two of them are in the “death business.”
Finally after reuniting a son with his dead father, Jennifer
tells her husband, “No . . . ” get ready
for it. “We’re in the life business.”
Then he says, “Good to know. Now I want you to talk to the
phantom — in my pants!”
I just made up that last part. Unfortunately, they might as
well be brother and sister. The poor bastard never even gets
a smooch on the cheek. Even when somehow, even though he’s the
non-powered member of a couple, he lives through the whole first
episode. Sure, she could talk to him anyway, but he don’t want
to talk, man. The sad little guy STILL wouldn’t get his mack
Hewitt is good in her role. It’s just not one you’re going
to want to watch every week. The stories are fine, but this
is Chicken Soup for the Hot-Ass Actress’ Soul.
Hewitt’s really cutesy-poo, and tries to be cutely intense when
she cutely confronts the spirits and then the live people that
she’s cutely trying to help. She’s just so dad-gum perky. She’s
like a little Care Bear, except for her huge you-know-whats.
Despite the whole talking to dead people thing, the show is
not about the action-adventure aspects of what’s happening.
She doesn’t try to stop them from getting dead. That's
her paramedic hubby's job, but we never see him at work. Which
is fine. This show isn't Fender Bender Whisperer.
There is the occasional twist, where people you thought weren’t
dead are, but most people on the show actually are alive. The
show goes through the feely, huggy motions. I wish there was
an evil ghost whisperer played by someone from 90210 like
on Tru Calling, the last show with a fetching young
lady that talked to dead people. The sort of guy who would tell
the grieving family, “Grandpa says you suck!”
Plenty of tears are likely to be jerked from viewers in Ghost Whisperer, and every episode is going to be Very
Special. If you’re prone to bawling your eyes out, and
you like TV shows that make you feel like crap, then join the