7. George needs the financial security: It's not like anyone's clamoring for a sequel to Radioland Murders. (sclerotic_rings@livejournal.com)

6. He keeps forgetting to feed his Ewok village and constantly needs to purchase new midgets. (jcarone@runner.csub.edu)

5. He single handedly revolutionized cinematography...20 years ago. (shade668@hotmail.com)

4. For convincing the world he's made two more Star Wars movies, when in fact what gets shown is a couple of hours of BLANK CELLULOID while the cinema owners MESS with your BRAINS USING RAYS. So you think you watched an actual movie, and have HORRIBLE memories of a GIANT TALKING FROG implanted in your mind. (andrew.dennis@cpadsl.co.uk)

3. It's not that he deserves a raise. He just went back to his old paychecks and made Special Editions of them. (naguscook@aol.com)

2. I thought it was spelled "razor" (mike@kwikfix.org)

1. A cost of living adjustment due to the rising cost of flannel. (jamesandkelleypalmer@yahoo.com)