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Buffy Actors Get Jobs (Well, Some of Them)
Revolution News
© Joe Crowe
November 03, 2004

Several actors on the now-nonexistent "Buffy" and "Angel" have jobs all of a sudden.

Sarah Michelle Gellar's horror flick "The Grudge" was the number one movie in its first week, and suddenly she's on magazine covers. But please -- did anyone put her boyfriend in the movie, Jason Behr from "Roswell," on a cover and call him the "It Boy" of 2004?

No? Because people didn't go see the movie for her or him. (Sorry, "Roswell" fans. Really.)

When her first couple of post-Buffy-season-one movies hit theatres a few years back, Gellar took the lesson of one Courteney Cox, who didn't quit "Friends" after "Scream" came out. She didn't quit her day job -- and now this is it.

David Boreanaz will be in a new show on ABC about a cop who infiltrates a gang of assassins. What's up with ABC all of a sudden doing shows aimed at neiter 6- to 8-year-olds nor 86- to 88-year-olds? That show "Desperate Housewives" is NAUGHTY.

James Marsters will play someone's dad on The WB ski lodge soap opera "The Mountain." This is a role that is slightly closer to his own age. He played an immortal vampire so long on "Buffy" that we all just kind of assumed he was the same age as the cast. In reality, the 750-year-old Marsters is not a vampire, but he stays young-looking by drinking the sweat of fan-girls.

Michelle Trachtenberg played Buffy's precocious yet spunky and utterly sexless teen sister Dawn. Then she was in teen sex comedy "EuroTrip." Man, that just makes me feel all weird.

Charisma "Wanna See My Breasts?" Carpenter is on "Charmed" now. I'm sorry, what did I just type? I was thinking about something else for a second there.

Eliza Dushku told a sci-fi convention that Fox had canceled her show "Tru Calling" after all -- even though at first they announced it was renewed. Finally, the Fox natural order of things has returned. I almost thought they'd let a sci-fi show of theirs get a second season. Thank goodness they didn't; now the universe makes sense again.

The biggest casting coup of the year has to be Kristine Sutherland. She played Buffy's mother, who died after suffering a headache. Now she's playing Headache Suffering Lady on commercials for Advil.

So really, that whole gut-wrenching episode "The Body" would have been 5 minutes long if Buffy's mom had said, "Hey, I think I'll take Advil. My skull-cracking headache feels better already!"

Finally, some news about Nicholas Brendon, who played Xander: He's still got nothin'. For extra pathos, he was in TV Guide a month after the last "Buffy." The story was on actors from favorite shows are doing now, and it featured people long renowned for not being on TV shows anymore, like Erik Estrada, Mary Ann from "Gilligan's Island," and some Brady girls.

And Xander, who proudly proclaimed in a two-sentence paragraph that he was "really trying" to find a sitcom.

He should do like Charisma Carpenter and show everyone his naughty parts.

News editor Joe Crowe doesn't have a cool Hollywood job either, but he's mostly unattractive and poor.

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