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Video Game Nudity : Our Last Hope
Revolution News
© Joe Crowe
August 28, 2004

Several video game characters of the female persuasion and Playboy magazine will give new meaning to the term hand-eye coordination in in Playboy magazine's October issue.

They'll be in it topless, or as I like to call it "Nekkid."

And by "nekkid," I mean their digital drawing will look slightly like a female nude body, instead of slightly like a clothed female body.

Hospitals across the country are preparing for numerous cases of gamers' eyeballs exploding.

This gives new meaning to the terms "going for the high score," "using your thumb-stick," and "masturbating."

Some of the characters will be topless, and some won't, says a CNN article.

To which I say, if not topless, what's the point? They can be scantily clad in the game rulebook and cutscenes. (But THAT doesn't come with a centerfold. Does it?)

Among the monkey-spankees are:

  • Mileena from "Mortal Kombat"
  • Nina from "Tekken"
  • BloodRayne from "BloodRayne"
  • And Luba Liscious from the new "Leisure Suit Larry" game.

Before you ask about Lara Croft, remember that Angelina Jolie is nude in pretty much everything.

Finally, the video game industry gives your other hand something to do besides hold the bottom of your joystick.

Stupid Playboy. Where were they 20 years ago when we could have seen torrid pictorials of Metroid and Ms. Pac-Man?

News editor Joe Crowe plays video games for the articles.

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