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Newsblast Archives : George Lucas Gives Us Hell
Revolution News
© Joe Crowe

Newsblast Archive Dateline: UC Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism, February 16.

George Lucas gave a speech. And he gave us some hell. Give us some more, Lucas!

He accused entertainment writers and broadcasters as being "shallow, full of a lot of erroneous assumption and sensationalized to the point of being fabricated."


"In the area of entertainment journalism, the idea of truth basically goes out the window. And that's too bad. There are lots of interesting things in the truth that don't need to be moved around."

Is he talking about the recent Episode 2 script draft that's been circulating? The one we've all heard so much interesting truth about?

Here's our latest scoop on it. WATCH FOR SPOILERS!

As the movie opens, Anakin and Padme have begun to fall in love, and they sit and talk about love. Jar Jar overhears, and is sad because his little friend Ani is growing up.

His heartbreak is short-lived, however, as he runs into two teams of furry, cute computer-animated things, who are playing a bowling / tennis game called Pan-Dan-Fuluki, which they invite Jar Jar to play. He does, with hilarious results, in a 19-minute long, totally computer-animated free-for-all.

Jar Jar gets hit by little balls, drops big balls on his feet, swings and misses with his racket, and falls down. Later, we witness African-American Captain Panaka in his free time, as he makes up rap songs. Then the Empire. They capture and enslave a ship-full of Wookiees and Ewoks.

The butt droids from Episode 1 brutally cut down every Wookiee in moments. The Ewoks beat the droids by stacking up the Wookie corpses, setting them on fire, and pushing the pile over on top of the droids.

George Lucas reported that his favorite actor is Leonardo DiCaprio (that "C" better be capitalized, because Leo is important), and he will do anything to get him to play the role of Anakin, including, changing the script if Leo doesn't feel comfortable with any of his lines or the way the story is going.

He really said that part. I think.

Joe Crowe loves Lucas. Loves.

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