If you missed the starts of "Enterprise" and "Jake 2.0" then you're SOL, because at this writing, they were Sept. 10.
But I shan't rub it in further. In fact, I shall do no rubbing at all. It is merely my solemn task to inform you of your sparse, yet slim, sci-fi viewing possibilities on network television in the fall of 2003.
Don't read this if you have TiVo, though. TiVo already knows all of this, and it'll get mad at you.
You, the sci-fi fan, got nothin' on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Friday or Saturday. Spend time with family. Sleep. Eat.
Wait, my favorite show from last year "24" is on Tuesday. Watch it. While you eat, if you must. It premieres October 28.
But get ready, because check out Wednesday -- FOUR sci-fi shows . . . ALL AT THE SAME TIME! UPN's "Enterprise" and "Jake 2.0" will appear there. At the exact time, WB will show "Smallville" and "Angel."
Smallville premiere: October 1
Angel premiere: Oct. 1
Yay! Cram it down our throats! Choke us on it!
Then that's all there is until Sunday, when the WB airs "Charmed" and "Hot Teen Tarzan."
Charmed premiere: Sept. 28
Tarzan premiere: Oct. 8
Other fun stuff on Sunday: "The Simpsons" returns on Nov. 9, and spy show "Alias" is back Sept. 28.
It seems like I'm forgetting something . . . Oh yeah, Fox will put Eliza Dushku on Thursday, for her show "Tru Calling" to christen a new day for the Sci-Fi Death Zone.
Welcome to the dead pool! Here are your cancellation dates. There are only 3 new sci-fi-ish shows on the networks. Two of them have a reasonable chance of making it. I hope I am wrong; I'd love to see some good shows, and I'd love to see them not canceled. The dead pool is not based on quality of show, but on likelihood that the network will not cancel it. Suckiness or lack thereof will be covered when we review the shows.
JAKE 2.0: UPN let "Twilight Zone" air for the whole season, then canceled it, but they dumped "Haunted" early. I give "Jake" a half season.
TARZAN: Toss-up. WB gave "Smallville" a shot, and it scored. They aired "Birds of Prey" its whole season, despite, well, you know, the "S" word. "Tarzan" will stay on the whole year, regardless of quality.
TRU CALLING: It's Fox. It's up against "Friends" and "Survivor." 3 episodes -- at most.