So You Want To Win RevolutionSF Contests
© Joe Crowe
April 05, 2003
My name is Joe, and I slog through your e-mailed contest entries to pick out winners
to our contests here on the site. Sometimes I get letters during the contests,
asking rule questions. I try not to take up valuable contest winner-listing space
with rules lawyering. Thus, a separate article that's just plumb full of it!
Read on, gentle one. Perhaps you may glean some nugget of knowledge about The
Now, this is not to say that all your contest entries are bursts of profane ignorance.
Some of you play great. Some of you play pretty good. But enough mollycoddling.
"But Joe," you say, "I never play or read the RevolutionSF contests. I don't know
why I even clicked on this particular article in the first place."
What do you mean, you don't play or read the contests? You could always go to
some other sci-fi site where all they make you do is read. Everyone: Ostracize
him and/or her at once!
No one seems to have a problem with the concept of this one. This is a surprise
to me, but I will graciously pretend that it isn't.
I give you a topic. The first line 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, the
third line 5. Extra credit if you can make each line independent and not just
string out a big long sentence. Easy like Sunday morning.
It's right there in the title, and that's all you gotta do. Of course, "funny"
is in the eye of the beholder, much like beauty to those pig people on "Twilight
I often get questions asking "How many people sent in [Insert most seemingly obvious
entry here]?" A lot of the time that person is the first. If the obvious answer
is funny, then whoever sent it in first will get in.
Everybody else will have to run laps.
This contest is designed to provide interesting and/or amusing answers to continuity
questions, errors, or odd circumstances regarding sci-fi characters and stories.
Some of the topics so far dealt with are questions burning in sci-fi fandom like
Klingons' head ridges, Clark Kent's glasses, and Batman and Robin.
The most common response I ever get to questions in this contest is "Bad writing"
or "lazy writers." I'd like to put the proverbial kibosh on that here. The goal
of this contest is for you to explain the unanswered question in the context of
the characters or the show, or with sci-fi-ish pseudo-science, or any other way,
But not "bad writing," because the reason for the contest in the first place is
because of "bad writing" or "lazy writers." Using those as contest entries is
like telling a policeman who pulled you over, "The reason I was speeding, pig,
was because I pressed my foot on the gas pedal."
This is the contest most people have questions about. This, despite the fact that
it's the only contest where the answers are quickly available on IMDB.com, or
elsewhere on the net. It's like an open-browser test.
The bottom line for this contest is as follows: If an actor acted in it, it counts.
If you have a question about whether it counts, refer back to that. This includes
movies, TV, and cartoon voices, but excludes talk show guests.
Six degrees contests elsewhere are more narrowly focused, but I want to challenge
your triviatic talent, not eliminate half of all entries off the top because they
didn't do it "right."
Well, except for these few things:
No directors, because they oversee whole movies full to busting with actors that
you could use. It's too easy -- and nobody wants one of these to be too easy.
I might let other tech people slide, but I'd rather see you link actors than best
boys. No family links, but of course, if they act together in something that's
Theme answers just ain't what I'm looking for, Skippy. So no "Both the Pianist
and Buckaroo Banzai play the piano." or "both Buffy and Buck Rogers' names start
I know you're using IMDB or other sites to find your answers. That's right, YOU
out there, in the blue shirt. If you got the answer off the top of your head and
could prove it via notary public, I would give you more points. But that's too
much trouble. So it's up to you to be creative and not just type the first link
you found, since probably everybody else found that one, too.
A final thought: Winning or placing in a RevolutionSF contest is not the most
important thing you can do in your life. But it easily could be, if you try hard
Thanks for playing! Now get back to work.
|RevolutionSF humor editor Joe Crowe's real secret is that he only picks contest entrants that he likes personally. He likes you, though. You, out there reading this right now. He likes you -- A LOT. |
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