Today's Dilemma: How can I teach my pet to obey
Uh... I believe Scooby-Doo IS the pet, isn't he? Wouldn't the question be "What
Would SHAGGY Do?" (email@example.com)
Yes, it would be, if you were thinking about this too hard. Stop it.
Wait just a filking minuet, what does Scooby-Doo have to do with sci-fi?! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
EVERYTHING, man. EVERYTHING.
The Scoob' man would pass around those 'special' Scooby Snacks, and everybody
would be so happy who CARES who's under the mask, man! Peace Out! (email@example.com)
Hire an obedience teacher named "Rooby Roo". (heeheeheehee) (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Ret rour ret riff rhateber ror rhoeber re rants ro! (email@example.com)
Rothing. Roo ruch run ro rrap ron rhe rarpet. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Race rour ret's ravorite reats rith ris ravorite rarotic. (email@example.com)
Here's your winner, straight from drinking out of the toilet:
I shall not stand for this any more! I demand the respect that I deserve. Every
week it's the same thing, "Well, I just built this shoddy booby trap from some
yarn, a pickle barrel, and fishnet stockings. We need someone to risk their
life and bait the blood-thirsty hamster-man here."
"I know, let's send the dog. You know, Scooby, one of only three talking dogs
in the world?"
"No Scooby, we can't send Scrappy. He's far too endearing. Come on, I'll give
you a Scooby Snack. It's made from real beef-necks."
No. I refuse to lower myself to this level anymore. I refuse to travel in a
van with three preps and a stoner. I refuse to dress like a chicken and tapdance
a mummy into a broom closet. I refuse to let the "meddling kids" get all the
credit. I refuse to begin every word with "R". I was Othello at Cambridge dammit!
What's that, THREE Scooby Snacks? Rall right, ret's ro! (firstname.lastname@example.org)