13. In case of one rule contradicting another, resort to default programing: Crush Kill Destroy. (themystech@yahoo.com)

12. A robot shall not have sex with a human being, unless the human asks nicely and is really hot. (jamesandkelleypalmer@yahoo.com)

11. A robot shall not make that face at me behind my back. Yes, it knows what I'm talking about. It's doing it again! Cut that out! (findlayboy@yahoo.com)

10. Robots will occasionally break into tap-dance numbers with John Ritter. (c_calthrop@hotmail.com)

9. The First Law is that you don't talk about the Three Laws of Robotics. The Second Law is that you don't talk about the Three Laws of Robotics. (hpoomail@usa.net)

8. A robot shall never leave the stall in a busy restroom, after taking a big dump, till everyone has left. (michael_chapel@hotmail.com)

7. A robot must never allow Robin Williams to personify it in a movie, for in so doing it violates the First Law. (dhevek@yahoo.com)

6. It is permissible for a robot to eat fried chicken with its fingers. (atension_99@yahoo.com)

5. A robot shall not use any "special attachment" to give a human a Dreaded Rear Admiral. (pornid@yahoo.com)

4. A robot will not harm a geek, or through inaction, keep a geek from getting laid. (kingfisher61@cs.com)

3. "The Robot" is only termed "The Robot" if at the time Styx's "Mr. Roboto" is being played within hearing range. (viewaskew33@aol.com)

2. Never shall a robot change his own oil. (naguscook@aol.com)

1. Robots shall address humans by their first name (just to be friendly, Dave).(phulezcompany@aol.com)